


Taking This Chance (On You and Me)

by inpiniteu



Category: Wanna One (Band)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Canon Compliant, Getting Together, Insecurity, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-21
Updated: 2020-09-21
Packaged: 2021-03-07 01:22:25
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,825
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26438653
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/inpiniteu/pseuds/inpiniteu
Summary: Sometimes, Jisung didn’t think he deserved Hwang Minhyun but then again, it didn't matter. It didn't, because he was also certain of one thing—he would never let go.Hwang Minhyun was Yoon Jisung's, just the same way stars belonged in the sky.
Relationships: Hwang Minhyun/Yoon Jisung
Comments: 1
Kudos: 9
Collections: K-Pop Ficmix 2020





	Taking This Chance (On You and Me)

**Author's Note:**

  * For [belatedwannable](https://archiveofourown.org/users/belatedwannable/gifts).
  * Inspired by [stay forever here](https://archiveofourown.org/works/20780453) by [belatedwannable](https://archiveofourown.org/users/belatedwannable/pseuds/belatedwannable). 



> To my recipient, I wonder if you're surprised by my choice of fic. I know the fandom might be surprising considering Wanna One ended, but I hope you can have fun with this and with Jisung and Minhyun.
> 
> This work is inspired by the tipsy night you mention in the original fic and I know you had plans for a similar fic at some point so I hope this won't feel subpar. In all cases, it was an exciting exercise and I was glad I got the opportunity to write for Wanna One in 2020. 
> 
> Please, enjoy! ♥

Sometimes, Jisung didn’t think he deserved being in the arms, in the thoughts, and in the heart of Hwang Minhyun.

Most of the time, though, he was successful at overcoming the feeling that he was not enough. 

Dating Minhyun still felt like a fever dream on days he truly doubted himself, and opening his eyes in the morning of those particularly gloomy days always came with the fear of waking up to a reality where Minhyun wasn’t his.

It never happened, of course, because Hwang Minhyun belonged to him. Hwang Minhyun, with his angelic voice, his breathtaking looks, his sweet smile, and even sweeter heart.

Minhyun, who kept ranking high in a variety of polls, ranging from the perfect son-in-law to the most handsome current idol and always shined so bright, so above the average that could be used to describe most of Jisung’s life. 

Jisung was different from Minhyun, but he was good enough. They both agreed on that, Minhyun perhaps even more. His boyfriend sometimes joked he was Yoon Jisung's number one fan, which was clearly not the case considering how dedicated some of his fans were, but Jisung thought it was cute how Minhyun was always so ready to hype him up and encourage him. That was what love did to people, he guessed, and being loved by Minhyun was the best form of acceptance he could get. 

Jisung was content to stare at his personal star from afar, too, because while millions of people were standing under the same sky, Minhyun was still shining for him of all people. Hwang Minhyun was born a star but Yoon Jisung helped him shine a bit brighter with his love, and knowing that gave Jisung all the reassurance he needed, especially now in the military.

Sometimes, Jisung didn’t think he deserved Hwang Minhyun but then again, it didn't matter. It didn't, because he was also certain of one thing—he would never let go.

Hwang Minhyun was Yoon Jisung's, just the same way stars belonged in the sky.

  


***

  


Perfection was a word that Jisung never liked using, or heard used to describe someone. 

No one was perfect, after all, and no one should have to be or be forced to reach such unattainable standards. Flaws, in Jisung’s opinion, shouldn’t be regarded so negatively, as they shaped people into what they were.

Jisung was full of them, and while he wouldn’t say he loved them, he’s learned to embrace them and deal with them. He was aware of what he was lacking in, of his subpar singing skills, and his looks that, compared to many other trainees, weren’t exactly good enough to make it.

He knew that his flaws were obstacles to his dream, but still, rather than aiming for being perfect, which he knew he could never be, he wanted to make it while carrying those flaws proudly.

Still, as much as he disliked the concept of perfection, he didn’t think there was another word worth using to describe Minhyun.

Perfection was the first word that came to his mind when Minhyun appeared on set, quickly followed by three of his members. He had heard the rumors, had been aware of the distance that ultimately would settle between hopeful trainees and disillusioned idols. 

None of that had mattered in the end—the differences, the distance, the prejudice. Jisung saw past that, caught under the spell of the glow that surrounded Minhyun. 

Perfection didn’t exist, but if someone had to come close to it, it had to be him.

That opinion never changed once over the months they spent side by side. 

It didn’t, not even when Minhyun got downgraded from C to D and didn’t dare look at anyone in the eye, ignoring with the mocking whispers behind his back with a strength Jisung wished he could have. It couldn’t, because how could he think differently of someone who only showed hard work and constant optimism?

So, obviously, when the staff asked him who his top pick was a few weeks before the end of Produce 101, the answer was obvious and made sense to him.

He replied without any hesitation, waving the picket with Minhyun’s picture on it with the extra enthusiasm that was expected of him. “My top pick is Minhyunnie.”

While the first answer had come easily, explaining why somehow felt more complicated. Or, more accurately, more personal. Jisung didn’t want them to know about the smiles that made his breath hitch, about the times Minhyun listened to him and offered him comfort and a shoulder to cry on, and all those times his heart skipped a beat—

“Minhyunnie, because he’s _perfect_.” He looked straight at the camera and imagined Minhyun in front of him. “Minhyun-ah, hyung is jealous!”

It was a safe answer and playing it safe was important. The crew deemed his reply good enough to move on and ask another question, this time a bit more personal. “Jealous? Don’t you think you’re perfect, too?”

Jisung laughed, but it sounded more like a scoff to his own ear. No one noticed, though. No one ever did, all of them too busy trying to get answers out of him that could make or break him to see what was really in front of them. “Of course not,” he said with a smile. “I have more flaws than all the contestants combined!” 

It was a joke, one that worked as the staff burst into laughter. He chuckled along but as he swallowed, found out that the taste in his mouth was bitter.

Flaws, for the first time in his life, became something he didn’t want to embrace anymore. He couldn’t, for the sake of him, find it in himself to not feel shame at the thought of them. Indeed, it was because of them that he would never get close to Hwang Minhyun.

People like him, flawed people who probably would never go anywhere in life, didn’t get to approach people like _him_. Jisung knew he would taint him, and he couldn’t allow it.

  


***

  


Fate decided he would make it. 

Him, Yoon Jisung, whom everyone judged too old for the industry, was now the leader of a powerful rookie group and got a chance at his dream.

What made it even better, though, was that he wasn’t alone. There were ten others by his side, with the same dreams, the same passion, the same goals.

And, to make it even better, Minhyun was by his side. He swore he had been ready to say goodbye to both Minhyun and his feelings, but someone up there decided it wasn’t going to be easy.

Sometimes, at night, he loved to think that the universe gave him this chance because maybe, just maybe, Minhyun and he could be something. Something more.

They didn’t get to be anything more than friends, _close friends_ , but the next months served to prove to him how difficult it would be to get over Minhyun. Impossible, even.

Months spent at Minhyun’s side weren’t perfect and made Jisung open his eyes to a reality in which Minhyun himself wasn’t perfect. That realization could have put an end to his feelings.

It didn’t.

Jisung couldn’t even decide if Wanna One was the best or the worst thing that happened in his life after spending months living on the verge of exhaustion, both mental and physical, and during the weeks they spent being overworked, only his duties as the leader gave him the strength to go on.

For his boys, all of them. For Minhyun, whose smile dimmed a little month after month and eyes sparkled a bit less, but still fought for his dreams, for them, for everything and everyone he’s ever held close to him. For Minhyun, who even trapped in an image that wasn’t himself and at his lowest, was still strong enough to be a shoulder to lean on. 

He was in too deep, which didn’t make sense because he had no time for those feelings, for a love story that probably wouldn’t work out. He was in too deep, but that realization came in time with another one.

Those feelings were so strong he was drowning in them, but for a reason he couldn’t explain, he didn’t want them to stop.

  


***

  


“Jisung hyung?” 

Jisung couldn’t help but stiffen at the sound of the voice calling him, and he turned to his side, facing the boring white wall of his bedroom. Being the leader of a group of eleven had led him to pick his new living arrangements first, and while he had made sure that everyone was comfortable and alright with him getting a room for himself, he couldn’t deny how happy he was to not have to share and have space just for him.

He didn’t like being selfish, but in his defense, sharing an apartment with Minhyun was already difficult enough. Sharing a bedroom together would’ve called for disaster and Jisung wasn’t going to inflict more pain on himself than he needed to. 

He was already suffering enough with those feelings that wouldn’t disappear no matter what he did and were eating at his heart and his sanity. He couldn’t stop them, didn’t really want to either, but it wasn’t too late for some form of self-preservation. At least, he hoped so.

His lack of response didn’t stop Minhyun from opening the door of his bedroom and stepping inside, and Jisung didn’t miss how loud his heart was beating as Minhyun came closer to his bed. “Hyung, are you asleep?”

He obviously wasn’t, but Jisung wasn’t about to tell Minhyun that and just squeezed his eyes shut tighter. He didn’t really know what he hoped to accomplish, but the bed dipping slightly under the weight of Minhyun’s body didn’t surprise him. Over the year they spent together, Jisung learned nothing really went past Minhyun. 

“Hyung,” Minhyun tried again, pressing his forehead against Jisung’s nape. Jisung stayed silent, hoping the other would take the hint. Hwang Minhyun was a persistent man, though, and Jisung was left helpless as the younger man wrapped an arm around his waist, unable to conceal his surprise and gasping out loud.

Minhyun laughed softly. “Caught you.”

There was no use in pretending after that, and Jisung adjusted his position until he found himself face to face with the object of most of his thoughts. Still, he refused to meet Minhyun’s eyes.

“You caught me,” he confirmed with a little laugh that probably sounded fake to both of them. Minhyun’s arm found its place around his waist again, as if it belonged there, and Jisung closed his eyes.

“Don’t hide from us, hyung,” Minhyun whispered. “We—I—” He was struggling to find the right words, and Jisung waited. “I need you, hyung.”

Jisung looked up suddenly, and what he saw in Minhyun’s eyes made something shift inside him.

The emotions in Minhyun’s eyes mirrored the ones in his own eyes. 

His heart skipped a beat, maybe even two, but he pushed Minhyun away. They couldn’t, shouldn’t.

“Hyu—” Minhyun tried, and the hurt in his voice made Jisung feel like an asshole. It was alright, though, someone needed to be one in this situation. Taking the blame was something he got used to.

Jisung’s voice trembled. “I think you should leave, Hyun-ah.” 

Minhyun didn’t move, swearing under his breath instead. Jisung froze again; Minhyun never swore. The surprise was so big he didn’t notice how close Minhyun was before he felt fingers on his face.

It would be so easy for their lips to meet, and they both knew that. “Please, don’t.”

Minhyun only moved closer, their lips brushing against each other and Jisung found himself unable to push him away, indulging into something he knew he would regret. 

The kiss was brief, but there would be nothing brief about the way it was going to haunt him.

Even when Minhyun listened, pushing himself away and leaving the room without taking a look at him, Jisung’s only thought was how soft those lips were, and how he wanted to feel them against his once more.

  


***

  


“You should tell him, hyung.”

Jisung blinked, looking up at Daniel who plopped down beside him. “Tell what to whom?”

Playing dumb didn’t suit him. Daniel seemed to think so, as well, as he rolled his eyes and pointed to Minhyun’s direction. “Confess to Minhyun hyung, hyung. The tension between the two of you is killing all of us.”

Jisung groaned, looking down at his feet, and he was certain his face was red with shame. He was the leader and was acting nothing like it. 

“I’m—” he started before stopping. He didn’t know what to say and while apologizing wasn’t going to fix anything, it was all he had. “I’m sorry.”

Daniel quickly waved the apology away, just like expected. “S’fine, hyung. We aren’t upset at you.”

Jisung nodded, and they stayed silent for a few minutes, watching Minhyun joke around with Jinyoung and Daehwi. 

Daniel’s voice broke him out of his thoughts. “We just want you to be happy, you know.” As Jisung didn’t say anything, he added, this time softer, “There are only three months left, hyung. I think you should take a chance before it’s too late.”

He shook his head, immediately dismissing the idea. “It’s not going to work out, Niel-ah.”

“You don’t know that, hyung.”

Jisung was about to argue, but then he realized Daniel was right. He didn’t know that. What he knew was that he liked Minhyun, that Minhyun liked him back, and that still, they weren’t together. 

They weren’t together because of his insecurities, because he was too afraid to get Minhyun only to lose him later.

“What if it doesn’t work out?” He finally asked, his eyes tearing up slightly as he took in the way Daniel looked at him. Like someone who had grown from a boy to a man in the span of a year and a half and could be a shoulder to rely on if Jisung wanted to.

It was tiring to be strong all the time, and Jisung took the offer, baring himself to his labelmate like he never did before. “What if he realizes it’s a mistake—or if he finds someone better?” He shook his head and then smiled dejectedly. “What happens once we—” He gestured to all the boys around the room, “are over?”

Daniel’s smile softened and he patted Jisung’s back. “We were always aware Wanna One would end. Minhyun hyung and you, it’s different. Lots of couples aren’t always together, hyung. It’s life, it’s _our_ life.”

Indeed, no matter whom they would fall in love with down the road, it would never be easy. Being an idol made sure of that. Only people in the same field would be ready to settle for such a dysfunctioning relationship, people such as Minhyun, perhaps—

Jisung found himself smiling as Daniel squeezed his shoulder. “When did you become so wise, Niel-ah?”

At that, Daniel broke into giggles, only stopping to say, “Someone has to be between the two of us.” 

Jisung snorted, which only made Daniel laugh harder. “Seriously, hyung. Just go talk to him.”

  


***

  


Jisung really wanted to talk to Minhyun, but something always held him back. Fear and busy schedules mostly, or at least that’s what he tried to tell himself. It wasn’t exactly the truth, but no one had to know that.

Things were probably going to stay that way, he guessed, that is, until that night of December that changed everything. 

Jisung didn’t particularly like drinking, but it was one of their last dinners together, just the eleven of them, and he didn’t think he could get through it without some beer in him. Anything to numb the sadness that was lingering in the air.

Even Minhyun, who was well-known for his dislike of alcohol, was tipsy and leaning his head on his shoulder.

He should probably push him away, he knew, but Jisung couldn’t find it in himself to do so. Minhyun’s red face was too endearing and Jisung was tired. Tired of hiding, of pretending, of being a coward.

It was now or never, and Daniel’s words reasoned in his head over and over again. “Hyun-ah,” he whispered, and Minhyun’s head rose immediately. He suddenly looked more awake than ever, but Jisung only felt like he was dying inside, nervousness eating him alive.

“Do you want to get out of here?” Jisung felt like an idiot, but the smile Minhyun threw him made it worth it. “Just to talk, you know.”

“To talk,” Minhyun repeated a bit slowly, his ears as red as his face. He then nodded and clung onto Jisung’s arm. “Sure, hyung.”

Jisung smiled. They were going to talk. It was the start to something. 

It was a start, and tonight, for the first time, he was ready to make sure there would be no ending to Hwang Minhyun and Yoon Jisung.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading! Kudos and comments are definitely encouraged.


End file.
